WE NEED SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE STANDS

All the Republican propaganda has me convinced: Kerry doesn't know where he stands until he listens to other people's opinions.

This seems to me exactly the kind of president we need now.

We need someone who can govern from the reasonable middle. We need someone without scruples who's willing to give the Germans and the French whatever they need to guilt them into helping us in the Iraquagmire. We need someone who can make deals with Republicans AND Democrats.

Someone who doesn't know where he stands!

This blog (surprise surprise) endorses Kerry.

ONCE IS AN ACCIDENT, TWICE IS COINCIDENCE, THREE TIMES IS ENEMY ACTION

I was watching Alien before the power blacked out yet again. And I was noting all the "plotholes" that are necessary to get the deadly critter onto the Nostromo. Why do they let the bug onto the ship? Why don't they just freeze Kane? Waaaaal, it's enemy action.

This same solution turned out handy for Unseen, where I was in plothole hell. It's so much easier to make unlikely things plausible if someone is causing them to happen than if they're supposed to happen by accident.

Which brings to mind a neat quotation from one of Stephen Brust's Vlad Taltos novels. A fellow is explaining why he is no longer with his (recently deceased) bandit comrades.

"They met with an incident."

"You mean, they met with an accident."

"Oh no, my lord. There was nothing accidental about it."

SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH ONLINE NEWS

You can keep checking endlessly.

I am totally wigging out about the election. Zogby was on Jon Stewart last night and says Kerry will take it. I am doing nothing to help, but I feel compelled to read all the news stories about the election... on the Times site, Washington Post, LA Times, USAToday, Salon and Slate. They get updated all the time, so why not check one more time to see what the latest is?

'Cause you don't get any writing done that way, is why.

BATTLE OF THE BULGE

According to Salon.com, a NASA photo analyst has sharpened photos of Bush's back during the first debate, and it sure does look like he's wearing a wire.

You have to ask yourself, what kind of idiots would have put a device on under Bush's jacket that can be seen so clearly, and why would such a device have to be so thick?

On the other hand, how are we to believe that the President's tailor is that bad?

I wonder if we'll ever know the truth. For the mean time, it's more news to get the Bushies off message.

WHEN IT STOPS SUCKING, YOU'RE DONE

Lisa was getting upset about her book, because everything she was writing was sucking. No matter that she's just started her book, and she has a year to complete it -- she was behind schedule.

I pointed out that when you're starting everything comes slowly, and she'll probably pick up the pace.

But more important, of course it's sucking. When you write, most of the time things suck. That's because when it stops sucking, you're done, and you can move on to the next thing.

The outline for Unseen was sucking for most of its life. Then things finally clicked into place. I made a few changes, and the outline was done. Now I'm on to the script. The scenes suck until they stop sucking, and then they're done, and I can move on to the next scene.

So it's a useful rule: when it stops sucking, even a little bit, you're done. And it's cheering to remember that when it is sucking.

THE DEATH OF SHAME

Ashlee Simpson semi-apologizes for lip-synching on SNL, after slagging lip-synching. She says she "holds her head up high" and explains she had to do it because she was hoarse.

The point of an apology is you feel bad. You are not holding your head up high. You're lowering your head in embarrassment.

There seems to be a bit of confusion about the notion of taking responsibility. Ronald Reagan "took responsibility" for the deaths of the Marines in Beirut, which, it turned out, meant that no one had to take responsibility. Various administration officials "take responsibility" for things, which seems to mean, "yes I did it, now go away."

If you "take responsibility" for a massive screwup, there are supposed to be consequences. E.g. Ashlee could offer a free concert where she actually sings. Administration officials who "take responsibility" are supposed to resign.

Used to be in Japan, you took responsibility by committing hara-kiri. No need to go that far, but guys, where's your shame?

How about Condoleeza Rice taking responsibility for her massive, massive screwups in failing to coordinate the intelligence activities of the CIA, FBI, State, etc., which is after all the reason her job exists? How about resigning?

How about Colin Powell taking responsibility for lying to the UN by resigning?

How about George Bush taking responsibility for the missing WMDs by saying, at a bare minimum, oops, he faked us out, my bad?

Why does everyone brazen it out? What's wrong with our society when we reward people for brazening it out?

PREDICTION TIME

I find trailers instructive.

I think "The Polar Express" is going to bomb. Two reasons:

a. I have no idea from the trailer what the obstacle is. Or even the goal. The hero is a little boy who takes a train to the North Pole, and there's a lot of singing and dancing. But why does he want to go? What is he running from? What does he dream of? And what's in the way of his getting to it?

b. The animation is creepy. There's too much detail for it to be a cartoon, and not enough to look human. It will tank fro the same reason Final Fantasy tanked. You can't appreciate the characters as caricatures, and they are obviously not real actors feeling real feelings. Too close or too far.

POLITICS ENSUE

How do you get a job as a speechwriter? The Dems need some good ones. I wonder how hard it is for a TV writer to get a speechwriting gig.