Boundless Creativity

The Internet has created some new art forms. We all know about YouTube. But don't forget the Parody Amazon Review. Check out the reviews for The 2007-2012 Outlook for Public Building Stacking Chairs Excluding Bar, Bowling Center, Cafeteria, Library, Restaurant, and School Stacking Chairs in India. And then there's Ari Brouillet's glowing review of The Secret. And these reviews of the Bible.

Somewhere in the 20th Century, the art of the raconteur seems to have almost died out, along with the habit of ordinary people playing music and singing in public. It's good to see that the informal, unpaid arts have not entirely left us.

Agonizing over VO

I'm struggling a with my comedy pilot and my brain sees that so many problems could be solved by V.O. I'm not talking exposition problems, I'm talking pace issues. I feel like I could put a lot more energy into my show if I had the character narrating it along. But then my gut asks if I'm just using the V.O. as a cop-out because I don't want to do the work to whip the story into shape. I'm positive you've talked about V.O. before, but I'm wondering if you can talk a little about making this type of choice in the development process and how experienced writers come to make that decision. There are a lot of great shows that use it.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, for example.

In a comedy, the rule is simple: does it make the show funnier?

ARRESTED uses the VO to skip over the dull, sane parts and get to the juiciest, most over the top awkward moments. Personally, I find it choppy for the same reason. I want to be pulled into the narrative more and the VO alienates me. You pays your money and you takes your pick. The danger with VO in a comedy is that you might be telling the audience, "HEY, I'M TELLING A JOKE HERE," and nothing kills a joke deader.

My rule for VO is whether it tells us something that cannot be communicated in some other way. For example, that scene in GREY'S ANATOMY where two people are speared through with a pipe and the doctors have to decide which one gets to live, and which has to die, and Meredith Gray's VO is telling us that she is stressing over whether McDreamy will kiss her or not. You definitely couldn't get that from the action or the dialog. She would never say anything so inane out loud.

SEX AND THE CITY used VO to bind together four often barely related story lines.

There are other uses for VO. I've noticed a lot of teen and tween shows seem to use them to get inside the hero or heroine's head. Is that because the lead actor isn't that good at communicating thought or emotion? Is it because the tween audience needs a second audio track to explain what is going on? In that case it is, perhaps, technically, a bit of a cop out, but it seems to work for the audience, who are presumably watching while also texting and "doing" their homework.

The VO is a great tool when used in counterpoint to what's happening on screen. ("He bought that???") You can even go with the ole untrustworthy narrator, who seems like your friend, but begins to stray more and more from what you're actually seeing.

VO is a perfectly valid tool, alongside the other unfairly maligned tool, the flashback. They both do things efficiently that would require a great deal of shoe leather to show otherwise.

They can also both be used as a crutch. But so can snappy dialog, or sweeps week lesbian romances.

The ultimate decision is in your gut. Do you want to make the voice of your show an explicit voice? Will the VO alienate your audience by breaking the fourth wall, or will it bring them further in? Will the VO bring things into text that want to remain in subtext, or will it twist an otherwise bald narrative into a psychological intrigue? Only you know whether you're adding more than you're subtracting. Just be brutally honest with yourself.

I will say this: If you're even asking yourself whether your VO has become a cop-out to avoid whipping the story into shape, then you already know the answer, don't you? Go back and fix your damn story. And then see whether VO is really your friend, or just some freaky stalker who keeps trying to friend you.

Feed the Hungry

Q. In CRAFTY TV WRITING, you write:

"All agencies have junior agents who are looking for hot new talent. The trick is finding out who they are, and making sure you don’t sound clueless when you talk to them or their assistant."

Please tell us how to find them and not sound stupid!

It's tricky, but what I would do is find one of the senior agents, and talk to his or her assistant. The top agents have very knowledgeable assistants who will be able to tell you who the hungry young agents are in their agency.

You find out who the senior agents are by checking the Hollywood Creative Directory Online; they're usually listed first. Or, the really big agents will appear in VARIETY and THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER associated with big spec sales or as having negotiated big deals for their talent. Or, you could call the WGA, ask for "representation," and ask who reps a couple of big-deal writers; they'll give you the name and the phone number of the agent.

The key is to talk to people who are near, but not on, your target. The receptionist is your enemy -- her job is to keep the aspiring and emerging from transgressing the gate. But the top assistants know everything, and don't mind a chance to show it, so long as (a) you're not trying to actually talk to their boss and (b) you're not asking them to read anything.

Anyone else have a good idea for how to find out the hungry young agents?

Dim Being Very Dim

I have practically my whole loft on dimmers, which creates a very nice effect. The LA Times claims::

If you dim a halogen bulb to 50%, you will save over 40% energy and your light bulb can last more than 10 years.

My understanding was that dimmers work by increasing resistance along the line. So you simply heat up your dimmer, using exactly as much energy as if you let all the power flow to the bulb. But now the Wikipedia claims that "modern dimmers are silicon-controlled rectifiers" which, I think, switch power on and off, thus wasting no power. (But is that true of house dimmers?)

O Hive Mind, do you know the correct answer?

Incidentally, I've tried the new "dimmable" compact flourescents. They do dim somewhat. But they don't dim all the way. You can get them down to, oh, 50% of the maximum output. If you're trying to create a mood, 50% just feels like you have a couple of bulbs out. You really need the halogens; they go down almost all the way.

You Can't Go Back In Time, Unless You Can

I bought my dad a Time Capsule for Hanukah, and installed it, like a good son would. Wouldn't you know it, my hard drive did a face plant over the holidays. And while that would normally have been fairly catastrophic -- in the past I would have only backed up my user directory, and only just before we left. Instead I was able to put my entire user directory on Lisa's computer immediately, and I'm now erasing my hard disk with a mind to restore everything back onto that. (With a few detours for things I worked on since.) Though it's never fun to have a hard drive face plant, I lost only about half an hour's creative work.

So I highly recommend getting Mac System 10.5, if you don't have it already, and a large storage device (the Time Capsule's great because it's also a wireless router) and hooking yourself up to Time Machine.

How Do We Get Nominated?

Q. There are some 7 festivals where in your screening leads to eligibility for Independent Spirit award. What is the next step? I mean after eligibility how do we proceed towards nomination?

I was tempted to dismiss this question because the answer seemed so obvious: you find the awards website and download the submission form. You pay the fee and submit your film.

But if someone's asking this question, it's because they don't know how. And if you didn't know, how would you easily find out? (Ask a blogger, apparently.)

So yeah, you have to submit your film to awards. Even the Academy Awards, I think. And there's usually a fee. It's assumed that if you're a producer, you have the money to submit your film to the various awards you want your film to win.

Reading Material

I'm reading Marc Norman's WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, a history of screenwriting. It's fun, rousing stuff, from Anita Loos's first silent photoplays through Herman Mankiewicz's famous telegram ("Millions to be made out here and the only competition is idiots. Don't let this get around.") up to the present. Of course now I'm sorry I'm not a newspaper writer (or failed playwright) in the 20's who could go out to Hollywood and make it big.

If you don't want to read about screenwriters, but just want to do it, try Epes Winthrop Sargent's TECHNIQUE OF THE PHOTOPLAY, a fine tome from 1913 about how to write for the new medium. On a quick glance through the chapter headings ("one main character," "deriving plots from nothing," "the value of the title"), there's much that has not changed from the 15 minute silents. So it's not just a historical document. It's still-wise advice -- and possibly easier to grasp since it's from a time when people did not assume they knew what movies are.

You can also read it online as a Google Book.

Google Fight!

Wondering whether to use "jury-rigged" or "jerry-rigged"? The dictionary can't tell you -- both are used. But which is more common?

Googlefight it!