Screenwriter or other writers struggling in LA/NYC

kleinbl00

I've optioned two scripts. I've made enough money at it to be ineligible for the Nicholl. I've seen some of my work show up on the big screen. I count among my friends some exceedingly pro screenwriters, a few struggling directors, a couple producers, and storyboard artists, makeup artists, art directors and concept designers whose work you have seen dozens of times. I'm hip-pocketed at one of the Big 5 and have, in the past, had offers of representation by managers you see prominently on the Black List.

I make ends meet by mixing sound.

If you're a screenwriter with a hope and a dream out there in Middle America, STAY THERE. The screenwriting-as-hobby sphere of influence (lookin' at you, Austin Film Festival) will have you believe that "if you write it, they will come." What they don't tell you is that USC, UCLA, Cal Arts, Loyola, AFI, Claremont and half a dozen smaller programs are turning out hundreds of grads a year, who already have the connections you need to make, who have already learnedthe lessons you need to learn, and are already going to the parties you wish you could attend.

And dollars to donuts, they write at least as well as you do.

The time to come to LA is when you absolutely positively can't make any more headway where you're at. And I can guarantee that unless you've shot an indie film that's doing well on the festival circuit, that's not you.

Little story. I grew up in New Mexico. Every fall, my mother would go batshit because the Canada Geese were migrating. And she'd whip out the binoculars and stare at these marvelous birds as they soared overhead. And my, but they were grand.

And then I moved to Seattle. And in Seattle, there are so many Canada Geese that just linger all summer that they close beaches and shores with their poop. They get aggressive and will attempt to steal the sandwich out of your goddamn hand while you're sitting on a park bench. The Parks department gets out trucks, gathers them up by the thousands and exterminates them because they create a public health menace.

I was a big deal in Seattle. A board member of one of the many film organizations up there. And you say "screenwriter" at a party and people think that's cool. I come down to LA and I've got a job on one of the lots... and CSI:NY is doing a casting call for extras. And there they are - hundreds of them, bright young faces, gripping their Macbooks, doing what they can to scrape by until they get that big break we're all looking for.

I wanted them all to die.

You see, they made it so I had to park on the 5th floor of the structure, not the 3rd floor. All they were was in the way. These people, whom I have more in common with than anyone else, whom I would gravitate towards at a party anywhere else, were suddenly nothing more than in my way.

What's it like being a struggling writer in LA? It's like being one goose in an unwanted sea of geese. When there's just a few of you you're magnificent, marvelous birds... but when there's as many of you as there are in LA, it's like being a public health menace and knowing it.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

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