Dialect =/ Dialog

I had an interesting chat the other day with Allan Hawco, showrunner/star/co-creator of REPUBLIC OF DOYLE. It's a fun, witty private eye series set in St. John's, Newfoundland. One of the many things I like about the show is that the characters all talk in various degrees of a Newfoundland accent -- it gives a real flavor you haven't got elsewhere. Imagine my surprise to hear from Hawco that none of that dialect is in the scripts.

Hawco explained that it's not just a question of mainlander writers not getting the dialect right. The danger, Hawco feels, is that writers work so hard to nail the dialect that they think they've created a character and a scene. But you can wind up with a lot of dialect and no good dialogue.

Thinking about it -- it's very easy to write a guy with a thick lower class accent and think you've created a character, when all you've done is create a stereotype. I can't tell you how many thug characters I've read who come off as cartoons; I wonder if that's partly because they're written entirely in Thug.

I've seen a few UK scripts where there's almost no dialect written out, which surprised me the first time, because there's a hell of a difference between "what the 'ell are you doin' 'ere guvnor" and "what the hell are you doing here, buddy?" I imagine at some point the dialect does have to go in; I can't imagine anyone wants actors translating Standard English into Cockney on the fly. Brit readers, feel free to weigh in.

I was thinking about this yesterday when I was working with a guy who has a script with yards of hip-hop dialect. So far as I can tell, the dialect all rings true. But it only served to obscure the flaws in the dialogue. The characters weren't as clear as they could be. The scenes weren't as rich as they could be.

If you have a dialect-heavy project, consider not writing it in dialect until you really lock down what the characters want from each other and what they're saying to each other to get it. Then you can add the dialect later. Like the glaze on a donut.

Bombs Away

Q. I'm currently writing a television pilot in the veign of Lost, Flashforward, etc. I was able to get a hold of the Flashforward pilot and noticed a lot of f-bombs in the dialogue. Obviously this won't get past the script stage. So my question is; why would the writers use language they know can't be used on network, or even cable TV, for that matter? Is it to just try and impress the reader, or because they knew knew they had a pilot order?

That's a good question. It's naughty, but I've done it myself.

I think it's because cable has accustomed us to hearing people on TV drop f-bombs, just like in real life. So you hate to censor your characters, especially when the line calls out for foul language. "Fine, then, let's just screw" isn't funny as, well, you know. You figure it'll read better now, and then you can replace the word later.

It is naughty, though. I wouldn't do it unless you're sure you can get away with it. If you're an emerging writer, you run the risk of looking like you don't know you're writing for network.

(Incidentally, Canadian broadcast TV has slightly looser rules. You can say a lot of, er, stuff after 9 pm.)

Cameos and Day Players

Lisa's working on our comedy spec pilot. We've got a bit player annoying one of the core cast, and she said, "I'm pretending it's a bit part for Sid Caesar. (You older folks will recognize him as a famous comedian from 1950s TV. Lisa is now leveraging her misspent youth when she played hookey every afternoon and watched old TV shows all day long.)

When you're writing bit parts, don't write them for day player actors. Write them for TV or movie stars with outsized personalities. If you have a one minute bit of repartee with the elevator man, write the elevator man for Jack Nicholson. Or Steve Buscemi. Or Lily Tomlin. That will remind you to write something they can really sink their teeth into.

Be careful, though, that you're writing distinctive dialog. Jack Nicholson can make a meal out of nothing dialog. Your job is to write the action and dialog so we see and hear Jack Nicholson in them. Without, of course, mentioning Jack himself.

Alex Epstein Interview, Part Trois

More of my novel class guest lecture:
CL: In your book, you talk about finding the outward signs of the inward experience. Can you say more about this? Is this the same as show don't tell in a novel?
AE: Even more so in a script. In a novel, you can tell us what a character is thinking. In a film, you are really only supposed to show us what an actor can act. "He's puzzled." You can't say, "He was puzzled, because that directly contradicted what she'd told him on Saturday."
AE: Ideally you write a line of dialog so it can only be read one way. But un-ideally, you can't. For example, if someone is being dryly sarcastic.
AE: Most of the time a line of dialog is happy, it's obvious.
AE: The only time you should be writing (happily) is when it's not obvious.
AE: (Happily) She's dead!
AE: (sadly) I just won a million bucks.
JM: LOL:
AE: I have a section in my first book, CRAFTY SCREENWRITING, about how and WHEN to give stage directions.
CL: I've been nagging at the class to clip their dialogue to make it sound more realistic. Can you give some words of wisdom about dialogue?
AE: Say it out loud, of course. There is nothing like your ear for telling when you've written bad dialog. Tell ya a trick though: have people speak ungrammatically. Real people don't form their sentences before they speak. The words come tumbling out ... and halfway through a sentence it become the end of a different sentence.
CL: But you don't want to have ums in there, right?
AE: Um. Well. I don't write ums unless they're sarcastic.
AE: "That car is, um ... lovely."
CL: Yes, but sometimes dialogue for a play sounds good for a play but rotten for a novel. How can you train your ear to tell the difference..
AE: Play dialog has nothing to do with movie dialog. Plays are rituals. They're not realistic. Not meant to be. Plays are autre chose.