Ironic Credit Music

At the end of SHAMPOO, which is about a guy who pathologically cannot choose between women, the credits music is "Wouldn't it Be Nice" by the Beach Boys, which is about the joys of growing up and settling down.

At the end of THE MAN WITH X-RAY EYES, the credits music is "I'm Looking Through You," by the Beatles.

Other ironic credits music? Go:

Write In Star Names?

Q. If I write a screenplay with an actor in mind, can I put down what actor I want to play the part?

No.

First of all, the actor you're writing for may be ungettable. If you say "Brad Pitt," then a reader is likely to say, "Well, you won't get him, so why am I reading this?" It comes off a bit amateurish.

Second, what if you've actually written a pretty good part for Johnny Depp? Someone might read your script and think "Johnny Depp!" But not if you've written "Brad Pitt."

It's even more dangerous when you're in the land of great deadpan stars like Harrison Ford or Clint Eastwood. If you were actually writing for Clint Eastwood, you would underwrite the dialogue a lot, knowing how much he can do with a few words. But if it's not Clint Eastwood -- say you have a standard-issue B-movie tough guy actor -- the lines may just come off as flat.

It's a bit of a cheat. You're expecting the reader to imbue your lines with Brad Pitt's quirky star delivery. But your job is to imbue the lines with star quality yourself. Ideally, you should create a character so compelling and fun that someone reads the script and thinks, "You know who'd be great in this? Brad Pitt."

It's better to overwrite the character a bit until you have a star, knowing that you can take it back down later if a star comes on board. In a selling script, you have to do all the work. In a shooting script, you can leave more air for the star to fill in.

That said, it's not a bad idea to consider a star when you're writing. I just rewrote a movie for a director. We agreed that the main character should be written for a certain quirky actress / ukelele player. Not that we're likely to get her. But keeping her in mind defines the sort of things that character would and would not do -- a sort of "strike zone." This character is not written for Milla Jovovich. There will be no cartwheels while wielding dual machine pistols.

But then my job is to write each line of dialog so that it is practically a star vehicle for this actress. It's the old criterion that competent dialog is writing only things the character would say, but great dialog is writing things that only that character would say.

Then, when we go to cast, another actor with similar qualities will bring her own charisma and stardom to the lines, and make the character unforgettably hers.

Script Tool Box

A fella in Texas has put together a handy website resource about how to format your script, in particular the weird issues like foreign language subtitles, freeze frames and what not.

I don't hold with all of his rules. (For example, I like to put foreign language dialog in parentheses so that the reader is graphically reminded that the dialog is not in English. I stole that from Garry Trudeau.) But he has a consistent, well thought out approach, and he may be able to solve some of your problems. Feel free to check out the site.

Characters Are Copyrighted

Q. I want to write a screenplay about a character from a series of movies.

You can't sell a screenplay that uses a character owned by someone else. For example, you can't sell a screenplay in which Gandalf the Grey shows up, or Travis Bickle, or Jason Bourne, or Benjamin Braddock.

You could steal a characterization. You could write a character who is much like how you imagine Benjamin Braddock would be all grown up, or Jason Bourne after he's retired, or Travis Bickle when he was in the Marines. You couldn't use the character's original name -- you couldn't ride for free on the character's notoriety. So you would have to work very hard to make your Bickle-esque grunt as compelling as the one who showed up in TAXI DRIVER.

Of course, this only works when the character is interesting beyond his context. Would Ben Braddock be interesting to watch outside his existential post-Graduate crisis? Is Jason Bourne a great character, or just an ordinary spy superhero in a slightly fresh and superbly crafted situation? Gandalf outside of LOTR becomes a cliché wizard.

But why mimic someone else's character? Instead, steal the character, but then invest him with your own ideas. Don't just poach Travis Bickle and put him into the Marines. Create your own crazy vet, based on your own real-life experiences and research. Steal from that boyfriend who always seemed like he was going to explode, and use that street corner you were never comfortable going around. Use Travis Bickle, sure, but use him as a springboard into your own invention.

Steal as much as you like, but don't just steal. Make the character your own, and you're in good shape.

Note: I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.

Balloon Phrase

When you let an inflated balloon loose before you tie it off, it flies around madly. You call that a __________ balloon?

"Loose" feels like a balloon that's floating away. This is one that shooting away wildly.

A Note on Contacts

As you all know, show business is all about contacts. You may be the most talented person in the world, but if no one knows you, they will hire someone else that they do know.

So, you need to be passed along to them.

When someone recommends you contact someone they know, they are putting themselves on the line for you. Not a lot. But they are vouching for you. How you come off reflects on them -- at a minimum, on their judgment of people.

They also have probably picked you from a flock of other people they possibly could help.

When I hook up someone just starting out and someone who's established, sometimes the just-starting-out person jumps on the contact. Sometimes the just-starting-out person drops the ball. They figure they'll put the established person on their list of chores, and they'll get to it when they get to it.

Guess which ones I continue to recommend?

UPDATE: By the way, I am often impressed how willing people are to help someone break in. I asked two producers to talk to someone. One said, "I'm in prep, but tell her to call, I'll set up a time." The other said, "I'm shooting, but tell her to call my assistant, we'll set something up." Showbiz can be tough, but everyone remembers when they needed a break.

What you do with it, of course, is what makes the difference.

Screenplay Critiques

I occasionally do screenplay critiques, but I charge quite a bit. I also recommend my veteran development exec friend Victoria Lucas. She charges a lot less, and she's quite good.

I want to add one more name to the mix. Tommy Gushue is a young guy who gives really excellent notes, and he charges $150 for a feature. You would not know it to look at his credits, but when I've asked him to read my own stuff, he's repeatedly put his finger on structural issues that I hadn't noticed. Someone should hire him as their development guy, but in the mean time his services on the open market. He will also put his voluminous knowledge of TV at your disposal.

So if you need script analysis, but you don't have a lot of money to spend, go see Tommy G. He can save you quite a lot of time and frustration, and help you bring your material to another level.

Woodcutting Fool

Loren Kantor makes woodcuts out of old movie icons. I kinda love the combination of modern images with old tech. Neat.