Richard Porter Interviews Me at PopCritics

There's some fun behind-the-scenes stuff in Richard Porter's interview with me about my experiences writing CHARLIE JADE in South Africa, at PopCritics. Check it out!

Hastage Makes Wastage

Q. I won the XXX TV writing competition, and now I seem to be making a lot of friends. One of them offered to send my spec along to a couple of agents. But I don't have a second spec! I've got nothing to offer and I know that if I garner some interest that'll be the first thing they ask for. I've got lots of great ideas so I know I could pump something out in a few weeks. If they ask, can I ask them to wait until the end of the month? Longer? Or do I need to just resign myself to looking like an amateur?

Geez, calm down. Who knows how long it will take for these agents to actually read your script and get back to you? It could be a month or two. They are likely to be focused on their current clients. Reading new clients is probably last on their list.

I would say, send your script in and immediately start writing that second spec. If someone likes your first spec, you can always you're just polishing it up, and get it to them in a couple of weeks.

What I wouldn't do is try to "pump something out in a few weeks." You probably wrote your competition-winning spec in more than a few weeks. You should try hard never to turn in anything that's less good than you're capable of. You will lose more opportunities by turning in second-rate work than you will by waiting until something's ready. Occasionally there will be a bona-fide opportunity ("so-and-so needs a lesbian romantic comedy set in Singapore under the Japanese") but those almost never amount to anything.

I want to stress that what makes things happen in show business is enthusiasm. A so-so script might get spread around, but only a dynamite script (or at least concept) will inspire an agent to spend a year trying to break you in, or a producer to spend a year trying to set it up. Is your script good enough for that?

Enthusiasm

An Emerging Regional Writer writes

A regional director for the CBC has read the pitch bible for [my show], as well as my Lost spec. She's interested in working with me and developing me as a writer. She said that she was ready to offer me some money (she said $1500) to write a pilot for [my show], after which she would put it into the right hands in Toronto. I mentioned that there were other people also reading the pitch bible now (I sent it to Mr. X at Big Commercial Network last week), and that I would like to consult some people first before I signed anything, but that I was very excited and interested in working with her. She also proposed that I could come up with something else, any half-hour series that could be set in [my province].

My problem is, if BCN was interested in it, I would rather go with them. I don't expect to sell a series by any means, but considering the fact that CBC just did [series in similar territory], it seems even less likely that they would do it.

Should I

• Wait for BCN and try to come up with a [my province]-based series for CBC; or
• Go with the CBC

. Also, should I bother trying to get an agent to take care of this for me, seeing as how it would only be $1500 for a pilot script?

Should I contact the executive at BCN and tell him that CBC has made me an offer?

First of all, you need an agent. An agent can tell you whether $1500 is an appropriate amount to be paid to write a pilot. My feeling is that it is not. WGC scale for an hour drama is $14,000; pilots are paid at 150% of scale. I think you should take the money. But it should be structured as an option, not a commission. $1500 is an appropriate amount to option your pilot. Since you haven't written it yet, you would still be writing a script and getting paid $1500. But the network would not own your work; they would only have an option on it. An agent can tell you if I'm right about this.

The main reason you need an agent, though, is that the deal isn't just for the $1500. You're not selling your series for $1500 flat, are you? You're selling a pilot in order to be involved in your series if it goes. What's your job on the series? You're a newbie, so you're not the showruner. But you should be guaranteed a story editing job. What salary? How many weeks? How many scripts are you guaranteed? What's the royalty? What's your credit? ("Created by," presumably, but only if it's in your contract.) A good agent will know what deal points are appropriate, and will negotiate them without irritating your network exec.

Your agent can also let Mr. X at BCN know about the CBC offer. However, there are two reasons to go with the CBC. The CBC has a mandate to develop regional talent. BCN does not. They develop less, and they produce much less. (This is true whichever Big Commercial Network you're talking about.) Their goal is to air as much American content as they can.

Second, you have enthusiasm at the CBC. Enthusiasm is rare and fleeting. I would not let the iron cool at the CBC. I would not propose a different show if they like the show you have.

Of course, it will take weeks or months to negotiate a deal with the network. In that time, if BCN wants to come back with a serious proposal, then your agent can always let the CBC know they've got a bidding war on their hands. This usually makes everyone hotter for the project.

Watching Generation Kill?

You'll want this glossary.

No, no, no. Stop that.

Q. I'm writing a script for a brother director team. They're great directors but can't write. They got me involved and now I'm writing their script. There's a producer involved who has grown a liking for the brothers and wants to see them succeed. They are meeting with him next week to discuss the project. Now, the brothers are fast-paced and want me to finish a first draft in a month. Which I'm not sure I can do but I'll try. But in order for me to work that fast I have to devote full days to this project. Which is hard because then I can't make money. And I have to live. But, these guys have tossed me $500 for this week and we'll talk turkey when they get back from the producer.

Now, because this is an independent project, is it wrong for me to ask for development money?

God no.

I've answered this before in much greater length, but to boil it down: the only time you should EVER write for free is when you OWN the project.

See the section in my book CRAFTY SCREENWRITING about writing on spec. It has a formula for the minimum amount of money you should demand up front, and what you should insist on should the movie actually go.

Weehawken

Q. Do I need to have gone to a top university? All the best writers seem to have gone to top universities.

I'm not sure that's true. When someone goes to Harvard, you hear about it. When someone goes to the University of Weehawken, they don't always mention it.

I do think as a general thing you should try to go to the best college you can. It's not strictly critical. My grandfather didn't graduate high school and he was pretty smart. He just wrote to a bunch of professors at Harvard and asked each of them for their top ten books. Then he read them. A hundred books later, he knew a lot more than when he started.

But the kinds of connections you can make at Yale are probably going to be more helpful than the kinds you make in Weehawken. The Yalies will tend to wind up at the top of their professions, where they can give you jobs in any major city. The guys in Weehawken are going to tend to stay in Weehawken. When you, being brilliant, leave Weehawken, you leave your alumni network behind.

I do use some of the skills I actually learned in class. English classes were good for learning how to analyze subtext. Computer science classes were good for learning how to write a script top-down.

Oh, and you learn to bulls*** really, really well. You learn how to pass the test without having done all the reading. Since in life you often can't do all the reading (usually because no one has actually written it), that's a key skill.

The other thing you get at a great college that you don't get from reading books is different live perspectives. Books give you fresh perspectives, but they won't argue with you. A great university is full of students who will argue with you and challenge, yea, mock, your perspectives.

But what makes a great writer is observation and analysis of human stories, human experiences, both in real life and as told by great story tellers. You can learn that in real life. You don't need to go to Princeton to do it. Princeton will help you a lot, sure, but there's some self-selection going on there: people who are willing to jump through all the hoops necessary to get into Princeton and pay for it, will tend to jump through all the hoops later in life. If you missed the boat on the Ivies, just make sure you're putting as much effort into your craft -- make sure you're thinking as hard -- as the Ivy guys are, and you'll do fine.

How Many Acts?

I'm trying to write a spec pilot for a half-hour comedy... I'm reading scripts and I'm confused as to how many acts I should have.

Comedies are either two acts or three. Unlike drama, which has traditionally been four acts and has largely now moved to five acts, I don't see a clear movement in comedy. If you're writing a spec pilot, pick a show that your show is like, and use that act structure. Simple as that.

MST3K2

Kevin C points me to Rifftrax. These are audio tracks from the guys who did Mystery Science Theater 3000. You just play the audio track along with the DVD and, presto! No copyright violation.

The jokes are mostly pretty lame, but Kevin has an interesting use for them:

I'm finding them a great resource as a writer, because they point out the holes in screenplays even as your watching them. Stuff I would just gloss over watching it myself becomes painfully obvious when its the butt of a funny quip...

The site has samples, in case you're wondering just how lame the jokes are, and whether you want to spring for $3.99 worth of commentary, or just put it towards a sixpack to share with a witty friend.

Thanks for the tip, Kevin!