An opportunity ...

An opportunity is a problem to which you have applied enough imagination.

Just sayin.

His Name is Calvin

And Tyler Durden is really Hobbes.

Also, Ferris Bueller is a figment of Cameron's imagination:

Ferris Bueller, the person, is just a figment of Cameron's imagination, like Tyler Durden, and Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.

One day while he's lying sick in bed, Cameron lets "Ferris" steal his father's car and take the day off, and as Cameron wanders around the city, all of his interactions with Ferris and Sloane, and all the impossible hijinks, are all just played out in his head. This is part of the reason why the "three" characters can see so much of Chicago in less than one day -- Cameron is alone, just imagining it all.

It isn't until he destroys the front of the car in a fugue state does he finally get a grip and decide to confront his father, after which he imagines a final, impossible escape for Ferris and a storybook happy ending for Sloane ("He's gonna marry me!"), the girl that Cameron knows he can never have.

Yeah.

Don't be this guy.

Corpsing

Botched police investigation fails to turn up clue in strip joint

‘I don't understand it,’ Myers said. ‘In the past, every time I’ve wanted to find someone, I show up and he’s there among the crowd of whooping. cheering men and drop-dead gorgeous strippers. Either that or the prettiest one in the place puts her foot on my knee in PVC boots, leans over me in a low-cut top and says something suggestively ambiguous about where to find my perp.’

From Newsbiscuit

Doktor Fang -- Now Available in 3D!

Owen Coughlan has written the first 3D screenplay! Sure, there have been movies in 3D. But now you can read his script, Doktor Fang in glorious 3D!

One of the happiest comments I got as I developed my craft was that my scenes "leapt off the page." But now you don't have to wait -- using 3D technology, your words can jump right off the page without the need for craft!

Requires red and blue 3D glasses. Not available in stores.

An Appreciation of William Shatner

Brilliant.

Q. What Kind of Sloth is Sid?

A. Darren Naish, of the excellent science blog Tetrapod Zoology, informs me that Sid, of Ice Age fame...



is meant to be a Megalonyx.



Thank you, Darren!

Happy New Year

Happy MMX, guys.

Today's Quote

"Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon

I Swear I'm Not Making This Up

I Finally Understand Everything

Favorite. Memo. Evar. (NSFW)

From The Daily Dish:

Good Zombie Fun

We had a lot of fun last night playing a board game with a couple of friends and their kids. Yes, a board game. LAST NIGHT ON EARTH is an awesomely fun game in which you are in the middle of a cheesy zombie movie. You are Betsy the Nurse or Jake Cartwright the Drifter or Sheriff Anderson or ... the zombies. Event cards you play against each other create the effect of zombie movie events. "Okay, I run past the crowd of zombies into the church--" "But the door is locked! Oh! Such bad luck for you!"

Which makes for a very fun evening.

In the end, the heroes torched three of the zombie spawning grounds, but not before Father Joseph had heroically died fighting off hordes of zombies, and it was a close run thing -- Jake the Drifter got to the last zombie spawning ground wounded, but he had Nurse Becky there to bind his wounds, but the zombies played Bickering on them so they wasted a whole turn arguing while the zombies closed in. And if he hadn't fended off that last zombie, he would never have been able to toss the last stick of dynamite...

Good fun.

UPDATE: Many stores are out of it at the moment, including storefronts and Amazon. You can buy it from Flying Frog. As you'd expect, the Growing Hunter expansion pack only works if you have the original game.

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.

More at PostModernBarney.

Afternoon Tea with Neil Gaiman

For an entirely reasonable price (though I'm sure it will go up from $850), you can have tea with Neil Gaiman. It's in a good cause, so go wild.

Buskers

This is a couple of guys singing Bruce Springsteen's "The River" on a street in Copenhagen.



Oh yeah. One of them is Bruce Springsteen.

What I love about this is you can tell the story. The other guy knows the harmony. He's good. So Bruce Springsteen must have been walking down the street in Copenhagen and heard the other guy playing his songs. And he thought, "Hey, he's good! I think I'll play with him."

Which kinda suggests that Bruce Springsteen walks around with a guitar. Which is kind of how I like to picture him.

Oh... moral of the story: be ready for your break. You never know when or how it will come.

Together Again...

In honor of Don LaFontaine, voice over trailer artist:

Not Even Slightly Safe for Work

Rude, crude, and political, too.

But funny.