A Few More Words About Queries

A reader asked me to evaluate her query letter, a service I sometimes provide. A couple of general thoughts:

I've said repeatedly that queries should be short. People nonetheless ask me to evaluate their page-long or two-page query letters.

An exec is going to make a decision based on the first three sentences of your query letter. If that decision is "no," then she's not going to read the rest of the query. If the decision is "yes," why would you give her more data? You can't improve on "yes." All you can do is change her mind.

The point of a query letter is to get the exec to read your stuff. The actual development conversation starts once they read your material. You want to minimize friction in between these two steps.

This particular query letter asked if the exec wanted to read a book the person had optioned. The querier said the adaptation could go in several directions.

Never be wishy-washy. If you're not sure which direction to go creatively, then figure it out before you send a query letter.

It's almost impossible to get an exec to take on a book project, unless you happen to have the rights to the next John Grisham novel. Why option a story when people send you dozens of finished screenplays every week? Adapting a book is a huge chore. (I know, I've done it.) It's only worth it if the project is truly unique, and if the exec is buying a built-in audience.

If I were querying, I'd do it by email, not by letter. Why waste all that paper and postage? Just make sure you have your hook in the subject line, not "Do you want to read my--" .

When you state your hook, do so in terms of story structure: who is the hero? what does he or she want to do? why can't they? What will they win if they succeed? What could they lose? Answer ALL these questions in a few words, implicitly or explicitly, and your query has done its job.

Synopsis?

Q. If you are still an unknown writer, should you provide a synopsis along with your query letter - or is this too much for the agent to read?

No, for three reasons.

One, it is very, very hard to write a good synopsis. One tends to write the plot. Characters don't come through well. Tone barely comes through at all. Comedy dies in a synopsis.

Two, very few people can read a synopsis. A script can read like a movie, but to properly read a synopsis, you have to really think about how the sentences are going to be fleshed out in the script. Most people don't take the time or effort, or don't know how.

Three, the point of a query letter is to get someone to read your script. If they don't like the query, they won't read the synopsis. If they do like the query, and you've sent a synopsis, they'll read that, and they might not like it. Why put any friction between the query and the script?

Of course your query really has to rock. As part of my script critique service, I've read queries that really don't sell the concept that's in the synopsis. Spend some time honing your query and making sure it really sells your script.

Sometimes you have to write a synopsis, because someone is insisting on reading one. In that case, don't write a synopsis, write a pitch. Don't write a ten-page beat-by-beat recap of what happens in your script. Instead, off the top of your head, write the story of your script, as if you're telling it to someone in a bar. Feel free to put things out of order if that sounds better in the story. Often a subplot is better told on its own. Try to avoid cutting back and forth in a pitch. Feel free to be real detailed about the setup and real vague about the ending. I would never send more than a 3-5 page pitch unless it's a requirement for some kind of application. Keep the beat sheet to yourself.

Episodes Have Hooks Too

Q. In a query letter for a screenplay, the letter needs to include a description of the material. Does the same hold true for a query letter concerning a TV spec script? In other words, should the query letter contain the log line for the script? (In this case a “30 Rock” script.)

I think so. It encourages them to read your script if they know what the hook is (and if it's a good hook). "I would like to send you my 30 ROCK script, 'Lemon Tart,' in which Liz accidentally becomes a hooker." Also, it helps them remember which one's yours.

No Submissions?

Q. I recently finished a film and I'm ready to put it out there. As it is a very specific niche film, I've done some research and I think there's a particular distributor that can best handle a project like this. I've acquired the contact information for their director of acquisitions and I'm ready to try and make contact.

The only problem is, reading through the distribution site's 'terms of use', it looks like they have a policy about not accepting outside materials (for fear of litigation for stealing ideas). I don't know if this is strictly for web submissions, or if it's the company rule throughout. Is this common? If I send an email should I not include any description for fear they'll simply delete it? How do I get them to look at my product if they're specifically saying the don't want a submission?

Generally companies that have policies about submissions mean they don't want you to wrap up your script or movie and send it to them. They don't mean you can't query them about submitting your script or movie. They are, after all, in the business of buying / optioning / licensing / repping scripts or movies.

You can't copyright an idea, only the execution of an idea. Therefore they can freely read your query (which is only long enough to contain an idea); they just don't want you to send them your script or movie (which is the execution of your idea).

Of course if you're unsure, you can always call them. I realize this is a shocking notion these days, but your phone can do so much more than text, give directions, and play music. You can actually use it to talk with your voice to another human being.

A Man, A Plan, A Canal: My New Movie

Q. What should be my subject line when I am sending query emails?

You want the victim recipient to open the email, right? Put the hook in the subject line. At least, as much of it as you need in order to get them to open it.

SUBJECT: A man discovers he has been replaced by his clone...

Or, if you have a great title, put that:

SUBJECT: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist...

Or, the theme:

SUBJECT: Can men and women ever really be best friends?

Actually, that last one reads like spam. And so would this:

SUBJECT: I know what you did last summer...

So you need to clarify that:

SUBJECT: Can men and women ever really be best friends? WHEN HARRY MET SALLY... a comedy script.
SUBJECT: I Know What You Did Last Summer... a horror script.

I guess the real answer to the question "what should my subject line be?" is whatever gets someone to read your email!

HCD

Q. I just subscribed to the online HCD, but I do not find any email's of any known production houses there, like Warner Bros, Dreamworks, Sony Pictures etc. Please help as I don't know whom to send my query letter to.

Those aren't production houses, those are studios. There's no point in querying a studio directly.

You wouldn't query studios, you'd query production companies. The Hollywood Creative Directory (printed or online) lists production companies, their personnel and email addresses. You would want to query the development people.

Many production companies have deal at studios; they're "on the lot." They'll have first-look deals with whichever studio whose gates they drive through in the morning.

I can't speak to how well querying producers works. I think it's very hard to get your script read if you don't have an agent. If any reader has got their script read by querying producers, please let us know.

When Query?

Q. When's the best time to query a spec?

I asked this of Amanda the Aspiring TV Writer, who thinks querying is futile:

At my agency, we're instructed to send all query letters to Business Affairs, though perhaps this isn't the case at smaller places. From what I see in Hollywood, everything happens through relationships, not query letters. Make friends with people, because people want to help their friends, not strangers. We're all willing to suck it up and work as underpaid secretaries so that we can develop the relationships needed to forge ahead. Why should we grant favors to these people when we're working so hard to earn our own favors?

If people insist on querying, I'd suggest waiting til after staffing season when people aren't so busy. [I.e. June.] Right before the winter break (agents take at least 3 weeks off) also might be good since a lot of people catch up on reading then.

Also, don't discount management companies. Many writers get managers before they get agents, and all agents are more willing to read writers who already have managers.

I think many smaller agencies do read queries, especially if the query says something like "[name of development executive] suggested I email you..." And according to the comments below, many major agencies do take queries. But Amanda's positive advice is still excellent. If you can make a personal connection, even with an agent's assistant, you'll do much better than if you're a stranger. That's why being in LA is so important. How do you make those connections if you're not there?

Intrigue Me

Q. What would you suggest putting in the subject line of an e-mail query for a spec TV episode? Something cute/catchy or just plain and straightforward?

Whatever will get them to read the query, bearing in mind they've seen all sorts of come-ons.

I would try to describe your movie in a few choice, catchy but descriptive words. Compress all the sizzle into a few words. Give the essence of the hook. Remember, you're selling.

Presentation

Q. On the title page of the script I have the title, the by-line, and then the month/year and 'early draft'. Is it wise to put 'early draft' on there?

So not. I don't want to read your early draft. I want to read your best draft.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what draft it is. If it's good, it's good. If it's bad, it's bad. Don't put dates or number of draft on your script. That's for the production to do, if you get that far.

Q. Should I say anything of note in the e-mail besides, "I appreciate the response, here's the script."?

I'd say, "Thanks for asking to read my comedy GO POSTAL about a deranged postal worker who massacres his co-workers. I hope you like it. I look forward to your thoughts."

That's it. The script speaks for itself.

Query Later

Q. When do you think would be a good time to start sending query letters to agents? I don't know whether to email queries now and risk getting lost in the the "back to work" frenzy, or send them out in a couple of weeks and risk bumping myself out of a possibly (probably) truncated TV staffing season.

I would wait at least a month for the post-strike frenzy to subside. I doubt any agents are reading potential new clients right now. They're trying to get their current clients back to work.

Generally you need to get your stuff to agents three months before you need representation. During staffing season you cannot get an agent, for example. You need to have your agent in place prior to staffing season so she's working on staffing you.

Is Now the Time?

Q. Has anyone had any luck querying since the strike started? I've had a couple agents tell me they aren't reading queries right now. I'm not sure whether to believe the strike is a good time for new writers to break in, or the opposite.

Agents can't sell a script to a WGA signatory company. So I could see that they might not be excited to read a script they can't sell. On the other hand I would have thought they would want to get a jump on the spec script market. Anybody else have a sense for whether agents are reading or not reading right now?

(Of course December is never a good month to get an agent to read anything, what with Chrismukkah and all.)

I Have a Great Idea, Book Version

I've got a great idea for a book about movies/moviemaking. I assume this all starts with a query letter. Do you have any general advice? Also, I'm young with no moviemaking credits, how much harder does that make it for me to sell a book about movies?

The book biz is an entirely different racket than the movies. Books cost little to produce, authors make very little, and it takes an astonishingly long time for publishers to produce a finished book from your electronic manuscript. (Though it takes iUniverse about two weeks...) The book biz is also bizarre because booksellers get to return any unsold book to the publisher for a total refund, which is a huge waste of shipping and paper that no one seems able to stop.

But the critical difference you need to know about is between the book biz as it used to be, and the book business now. By and large, publishers are not looking for a good book. They are looking for a book with a "platform."

What's a platform? It's what makes the book promote itself. Any book by a celebrity (Diane Keaton's books of photography, an autobiography of Joan Jett, etc.) has a platform. A book by a writer who makes a business out of selling his books has a platform. They want a cookbook by a chef who has his own cooking show, or chain of restaurants, or both. They want a book on screenwriting by an author who does weekly seminars all across the continent. They want a book on art buying by the head of Sotheby's, or the former director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Any book by a celebrity will get press. Thomas Hoving is pals with lots of reviewers; his books get press too. And, of course, any author who goes around personally promoting their book at seminars and other events doesn't really need press.

I was recently talking to my editor trying to sell her a second, revised, expanded edition of CRAFTY SCREENWRITING. Her main question wasn't "how will it be better than the first edition?" Her main question was what my platform is. I have a popular blog, appear randomly on radio, occasionally jury things, appear on panels and so forth. So I'm not without a platform. But I don't cross the country teaching seminars and selling my books. (I don't have time.) I may have said I would do, back when I wrote my first book, but by now it is obvious that I don't.

So it may not be easy to sell your movie book, if you don't have a platform. A great idea may not be enough.

The process for getting a book contract, as far as I've seen, is:

a. Tell your idea to a book agent;
b. If she bites, write her a proposal. This is a document of forty or so pages with a sales pitch, a marketing plan, an explanation of your platform, an outline, and a sample chapter.
c. She helps you polish your proposal then
d. sends it to publishers, who hopefully get in a bidding war.

One other thing you should know about book writing: by and large, you don't do it for the money. On most books you'll be lucky to get a $5,000 to $20,000 advance for 3-6 months work, and you'll be successful indeed if you clear your advance.

You write to help crystallize your own thinking. It may be an excuse to do some research you wanted to do anyway. It is a great opportunity to interview people who might not talk to you if you weren't writing a book. It is fun to give back knowledge.

And it sure impresses your parents!

They're Not Being Polite; They Don't Have To

A teeny tiny post because I know 60% of you are hoping the turkey is not too dry. (Unless you went for it, and fried the thing. In which case it's yummy, and you're hoping you don't drop dead before you can get the cholesterol out of your system.) For those of us in Canada: hope you've already got your snow tires on. Yeesh. Where's global warming when you need it?

Q. I've sent a company my tv series pitch. They're asking to see a few pages. Do you think they are really interested or is this just a standard request before ultimate rejection?

No, if they were uninterested they wouldn't ask to see pages. They'd say TBNT.

They want to know if you can write. No one asks to read a stranger's stuff just out of politeness. Show people just aren't that polite.

Queries North

Q. I've queried a Canadian producer with a MOW script. He's interested in the concept but tells me his funding requires Canadian writers do the work.

Is there a way to deal with this short of becoming an iceroad trucker? Get a Canadian agent? Aquire some sort of work visa? Accept the fact that hockey is here to stay? What?

Heh.

Have you finished the script? Or is it just a treatment at this point?

If it's a story idea, he can buy the idea from you, then hire a Canadian writer to write it. You can negotiate some sort of producer credit (Exec Producer, Associate Producer) and payment in lieu of getting to write it. Not great if the whole point was you writing it, of course.

If it's a script, you're out of luck, unless you want to immigrate to Canada, which seems extreme for the sake of one producer's interest. (Though it is an excellent thing to do for any number of other reasons.)

There's generally no point in querying Canadian producers if you're American. It's a protected market.

You can query Canadian producers if you are European, because they can do a Euro-Canadian co-production. Though it makes more sense to query producers in your own country, who can then contact a Canadian co-producer.

Of course, if you're American, you're really out of luck at the moment -- you can't query American producers, either, until the strike is over!

Q. If the writer is American, doesn't a Canadian director, actor(s), dir. of photography, composer, set designer, etc. culminate in enough points for the company to qualify the production as Canadian content (Cancon)

Yes, for CAVCO, which is the 15% production subsidy that can be combined with a provincial subsidy for about 25% of the budget. No for a producer who's just planning on getting the other 75% of his budget from Telefilm.

Double Querying?

Is it OK to send the same query to more than one agent at the same agency? Could any issues arise from that?

You mean, like, having two agents mention your project in the same meeting, and decide that you've wasted at least one of their time, and reject you just because you're inconsiderate?

Or having one agent like it and having another one say, "Yeah, I read that, and it wasn't very good," thus deflating the other agent's enthusiasm?

Yeah, I guess there could be issues.

Query during the Strike?

Q. What do you think about using contacts to get read by agents and managers now, tentatively before a writer's strike?

I wouldn't bother anyone right now. They're all in a tizzy.

If the strike happens (ayn kaynhoreh), then I would tend to think that agents, if they're not out of town skiing, will have more time on their hands. So why not give them a buzz then?

CHCD?

Q. Is there a Canadian equivalent of the Hollywood Creative Directory? Any available lists of Canadian motion picture development executives?

Very few Canadian prodcos afford development execs. You can go direct to the producers. There's a useful list of production companies and their credits at the Telefilm site, though I'm not sure it's complete.

In Canada, you don't necessarily need an agent to approach producers. (I think it's unwise to negotiate on your own behalf, though; if someone wants to option or buy your stuff, it's not hard to get an agent on board.) On the other hand, I've noticed that Canadian producers are by and large terrible at meeting new talent -- or old talent for that matter -- and worse at reading material they don't generate themselves, whether it's represented or not.

UPDATE: A better bet might be to look at the CFTPA Guide. You can create a free account to consult it online. Note that the CFTPA only covers English Canada. You'd have to check out the APFTQ for Quebec francophone producers.

More on TV Spec Queries

Q. I always thought a query was supposed to "entice" the potential agent with a small taste of what your spec script is about. Is it better to just state the facts - (I have spec of [show] called [title], can I send it to you?)

It can't hurt to include a phrase of hook. I've sent people a spec West Wing "about a new Cuban missile crisis," for example.

Q. How do you get their email? The WGC doesn't give it out.

You can try calling them. You can also sign up for online access to the Hollywood Creative Directory Online Costs a few bucks, but you can sign up for a trial period and it'll save you a lot of time. (Anybody know other ways to get an agent's email address?)

UPDATE: Josh asks:

Q. How useful is it to put contest placements and wins in a query letter?

I'm of two minds about this. It depends on the contest, for one thing; and there's a big difference between a win and a "placement." If you won the Nicholls, that's huge. If you're a semi-finalist at one of the many contests that seem to run amok on the Internet solely for the sake of having a contest and garnering entry fees, less so. I have skimmed some really bad scripts that got awards; and why should I be reading your semi-finalist script when I could be reading the script that won?

Still, if you got close to winning at some contest that people have heard of, it suggests you can at least tell a coherent story. So while I wouldn't recommend spending a lot of money entering contests, if you already have, you might as well mention it.

TV Spec Queries

I've been sick with a blasted flu. Today I'm coughing but substantially more conscious!

Q. Is there somewhere I can see examples of successful query letters for TV specs?I know it needs to be short and to the point, but examples would help.

Something like this, I imagine:

[date]

[address]

Dear Mr. Alpern:

I have just finished polishing my new spec HOUSE episode, "Haunted House," and I'm looking for representation. May I send it to you?

I also have a spec GRAY'S ANATOMY, "Anatomically Correct," and a spec comedy pilot about Egyptian mummies trying to make a living as garbagemen in New York, entitled GRAVE MATTERS. I'd be happy to send those along, too.

If you're interested, please let me know at desperatelyseekingrepresentation@gmail.com.

Thank you.

Best,


Foo J. Baz


If someone the agent knows, or knows of, recommended you contact the agent, mention that. If you've sold anything, or optioned anything, or are working as a writer's assistant somewhere -- anything that validates you in the biz -- mention that too.

Q. - also, if the agent's gender is unclear, is it OK to write "Dear [first name] [last name]"

- and if querying by mail, are postcards or envelopes preferred? Does that matter?

If the agent's gender is unclear, pick up the bloody phone and call the agency and ask!

I wouldn't bother querying by mail these days. If anyone has a different point of view, please let me know. Mail is expensive, especially when you have to enclose a SASE. If they're looking for new clients, they'll read your email, and if they're not, you just saved a buck or two. If you must query by mail, use a postcard. If they can't be bothered to compose an email to you on their Blackberry, they're certainly not going to read your script.

Twenty Seconds, or, No Harm, No Foul

Q. In your book, "Crafty Screenwriting", you mention that it's best to send out query letters first, wait for responses, then write the screenplay. It sounds like a great idea, but I'm a little confuddled. Once I pique the interest of a production company's reader (assuming that I actually do), how long is this person going to wait for me to write the thing before he loses interest?

First of all, if it makes you nervous, by all means, write the screenplay first.

The reason I suggest querying first is that the vast, vast majority of query letters I read when I was a development exec described scripts that are commercially doomed. Even if they were brilliantly written, they just don't have a hook. If you don't work in showbiz, it's hard to get a good sense of what showbiz is looking for in a script. If you query first, you get a sense of whether anyone's going to want to read your script once you've written it. If you fire off 50 queries, and you don't hear back from anyone, you've just saved six months.

What you have to understand is that the development person (or agent) who reads your query is not going to wait for you at all. They will read your query and shoot off a response or delete it within 15 to 20 seconds. Then the whole thing will vanish from their brain entirely. 99.99% of the time they are not going to give your hook another thought until you send them something.

To reiterate: they will read your query at the speed you are reading this sentence. If they don't like it, bam, gone. If they like it, they might spend 20 seconds thinking "Am I really interested?" Then bam, they respond, and it's gone from their brains like a feminine hygeine commercial on your TiVo.

To be effective as an agent or producer you have to be very effective at forgetting things you don't need to keep track of, and what queries you responded to is definitely something you don't need to keep track of.

When your script shows up eventually, they likely won't remember when you queried. If by some miracle they remember it was a while ago, they will probably still want to see it. Maybe 3% of the time they're responding to your query because they just heard that Paramount wants something like your idea -- but that kind of interest rarely helps you, because they're only interested in making the one submission. The other 97% of the time they just think you have a commercial concept and they could potentially set it up at any number of different places. So if they wanted to read it then, they'll want to read it now.

That's the logic behind querying before writing. But hey, it's just a strategy. Whatever works for you. I personally don't write a script until I've pitched it to some of my professional friends, and above all, asked my agent if she thinks she could sell it. If you don't have friends in the biz, and an agent, then querying first might be a good substitute. And again, yes, you're fibbing a bit when you write the email.

But it's showbiz, Punky. You think agents and development execs don't lie?

And if it results in a script they can sell, then where's the harm?