Afternoon Tea with Neil Gaiman

For an entirely reasonable price (though I'm sure it will go up from $850), you can have tea with Neil Gaiman. It's in a good cause, so go wild.

TV Notes?

Q. I'm looking for notes on my TV specs. Whom do you recommend?

To kick the question up a notch: What about hiring a TV writer to work as a paid mentor? I'm in LA and have two or three decent contacts I'm not calling until I have something I know is strong.

Or is that asking guys to train you to do their jobs?

We train people to do our jobs every day. They're called "free lancers" and "staff writers." Everybody working in the biz has been trained by people who knew more than they did. It's understood that you train the next generation. Why do you think I write this blog?

Depending on your trust fund, you probably could hire a TV writer to give you notes and feedback on an ongoing basis. Here in Canada people often come on as story consultants; the network pays for them. I'm lucky enough to have DMc himself giving me notes on my pay cable series, and I've done it for other writers. You're looking at numbers in the four figures there, though. If you don't have a portrait of James Madison burning a hole in your pocket, consider offering yourself to a TV writer you admire as an irregular intern running errands and doing research, for which you accumulate favors which you can cash in for advice and the occasional read.

As far as just notes go, I may be able to hook you up with a couple people whose notes I respect. The thing is that TV notes go substantially beyond movie notes. It's easier to say how to fix a movie. As TV is harder to write well than the movies, critiquing a framework in which to tell a hundred stories is a quantum beyond critiquing one story. So be prepared for a workout.

Deal Terms for Newbies part 2

OutofContext comments:

So, if I understand correctly, a studio deal essentially mirrors an option from a producer. An independent producer will take out an option which spells out the terms (payments and guarantees) that a studio (or producer with actual money) will want to secure and attempt to sell those rights for a profit and maybe attach themselves to the project. The difference with dealing directly with a network then is cutting out the middle man.

Right. Generally even if it's a network deal it's done through the producer, at least all of my deals have been with producers. The difference is if a network is involved before I do the deal with the producer, then (a) the network will have to approve the deal and (b) I will get to ask for a much nicer deal, since it's already a project a network wants. I think the exception would be where the showrunner has his own production company; Joss Whedon's deals are between his company, Mutant Enemy, and the network.

You mention developmental scripts as opposed to production scripts. Is that essentially what development is; the generation of enough good scripts to convince the studio that the project is viable?

That's it precisely.

Also, at what threshold does a writer who is brought in to an existing project get a 'developed by' or an actual 'created by'? Is it guild determined or a negotiated credit?

The "Created by" credit usually belongs to whoever writes the pilot script. If a heavy hitter showrunner rewrites someone else's spec script, then he might share Created By credit, or get a Developed By credit. Who gets the Created By credit is something you'd definitely want specified in your deal memo when you option your spec pilot. My deals say I get the Created By credit. A less established writer's deal might guarantee "no less than shared Created by credit."

Deal Terms for Newbies

Q. 1) What does it mean when a studio wants to buy a pilot script; what are they buying?

They are buying all rights. The script, the characters, the series concept, spinoffs, prequels, movie rights, book rights, everything.

Q. What opportunities and/or obligations does that impart to the writer?

Whatever's in the contract.

There are two flavors of this deal. One is with a potential showrunner. One is with a writer who is not considered a viable showrunner. Either deal spells out how much money the writer gets for the option; how much he gets if the series is produced; what kind of royalty he gets per episode; whether he has a right to be similarly compensated, or even to work on, spinoff series, movie spinoffs, etc.

Either deal specifies what the writer's involvement on the show will be. In the case of the showrunner, that he'll run the show, at least until fired; also how much he'll get paid, how many scripts he's guaranteed etc. A less experienced writer should also be guaranteed a certain number of scripts and a staff job on salary.

Q. Can a lawyer handle a deal like this, or is it imperative that I have an agent?

Most contract lawyers, even most entertainment lawyers, are only able to make sure the contract says you get what the other side agreed you'd get. (Or, on the other side, to write language that makes sure the studio doesn't have to pay you what the studio agreed to pay you. Which is why you need a lawyer or a smart agent.) Top entertainment lawyers, and all good agents, know what deal terms to ask for and what not to ask for. However if you actually have someone optioning your pilot, it shouldn't be hard to find an agent willing to negotiate.

Q. What does 'development' entail? If the project is not bought outright and I'm to be involved in the production, what are my possible roles in the development process?

The project is never "bought outright." It's optioned. Then the studio (or prodco or network) commissions scripts. Depending on your stature in the biz, you may be able to insist on writing all the development scripts (my contracts do), or at least co-writing them. When the project gets a greenlight, then you move on to production scripts.

Note: I also blogged about this here.

Traduttore, Traditore

I'm finishing to write a spec. Since it's set in an imaginary town wich could be american, and since I think it's much more suitable for the american film industry rather than the italian, I'm thinking about making translate and try to sell it in the States.

What I need to know is:
1) is there some law's restriction for people who are not american? I mean something like "I can't have a movie credit [if the movie was made] 'cause I'm foreigner"... or something like that?

Not in the US industry. The US industry is the only industry where there is no government support, therefore there are no nationality restrictions. You need a green card to work in the biz, but you don't need anything to sell a script.

(2) do you think that after I got it translated by a professional italian-american screenplays' translator (whom I can find also in my hometown) I can find in L.A. some reliable person to improve it fixing the language and the dialog? are they very expensive? usually do they demand a movie credit? And - most important - how can I find them?

Translating a screenplay usually runs a couple thousand bucks. If someone's just polishing the language, maybe a thousand bucks. If you're asking the US writer (a Canadian would do just as well, really) to adapt the script into something more American in tone and style, though, you're looking at more money -- essentially at that point you're asking for a polish or even a rewrite. Then you're looking at more money and (in the case of a rewrite) potential credit.

(The Italian proverb above means roughly, "Translator, traitor, what's the diff?")

!!!!1!!1!one!1!!!!!

You're generally not supposed to use multiple punctuation. One exclamation point at a time, guys!!!

But multiple punctuation carries meaning, and meaning is good. Here, Tommy's really asking:

• Tommy
• I don't do that any more, do I?

Here, it's a rhetorical question:

• Tommy
• I don't do that any more, do I???

I'm tempted to use multiple punctuation, sparingly, of course. What do you think?

Joel Haber's Script Sale

FYI, friend of the blog Joel Haber, a professional studio script reader (and blogger!), is running a 10% sale on his script analyses...

A great script analyst can take your script up quite a bit -- and if you take all the feedback very much to heart, can take your screenwriting chops up a couple of notches too. Just make sure you make clear to your analyst that you don't want to hear how wonderful and promising you are as a writer, you want the real notes. One of the key skills any good writer develops is the ability to really hear criticism. Good writers get depressed over negative coverage too, but they listen, absorb, and after moping a bit, get cracking on the rewrite.

Don't hire an analyst with the hope that they're going to sell your script for you. That's not their job. Their job is to tell you what needs fixing. But it is probably true that if your script is really commercial, any serious script reader -- one hooked into showbiz -- will know a few places to send it.

Tricking the Reader

Q. I have a script for a short film with no on-screen dialogue where we see the main character running errands in all the scenes, and hear a voiceover which we assume to be his voice, only to find out in the final scene when we actually see/hear his adversary speak that the voiceover belonged to him the whole time, and not to the main character.

The issue is with naming in the script. I need the reader to believe the same thing the viewer will believe, that the voice of the voiceover is the voice of the main character. There's no other dialogue in the script, and no indication of any of the characters' names.

If I name the narrator in the script, then I have to name the main character the same thing:

• ROBERT holds his wife's hands.


• ROBERT (V.O.)
• I never believed in...

Then, in the "reveal," I could explain to the reader that the voice of the voiceover belongs to Robert's adversary, not to Robert.

• The MAN AT THE DOOR speaks. We've been hearing his thoughts all along, not Robert's.


• MAN AT THE DOOR
• But now I have no choice but to...

But that seems clunky. So I'm wondering how to approach this.

Wow, yeah, that is a conundrum. Because if you label the voiceover "MAN'S VOICE" then the alert reader will immediately twig what you're going to do.

First of all, note that the above example won't quite do. If you are going to reveal the trick, make sure the reader can't possibly miss it.

• The MAN AT THE DOOR speaks. And we realize it's his voice we've been hearing all along -- not Robert's!

I don't think there's a good answer here -- you have to pick one. I would probably be honest and say "We hear a MAN'S VOICE we assume to be Robert's."

I do wonder, though, if the most interesting way to go is the surprise at the end. Would it be more interesting if we start to get clues halfway through that it's not the onscreen hero's voice? Rather than pushing that revelation at the audience, would it be more fun for the audience if they start to twig on their own? Just thinking out loud...

Hey, readers... which way would you handle this one?